


Lost Cause

by cynatnite



Series: Damn it, Loki [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:24:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1764037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint doesn't know it, but his relationship with Loki is far from over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So instead of going with the end of the Avengers movie, I changed it.

“Is this for real, sir?”

Clint did a second take at the orders in his hand and gazed hard at Phil Coulson who had a near smile on his face. Sometimes Clint couldn’t tell if the man was actually smiling from the heart or if it was one of his classic faces that he gave to everyone.

The promotion had come out of left field and he had gotten a bit dizzy. Clint had been called into Coulson’s office on the helicarrier for the surprise promotion.

“You’ve performed above and beyond on every mission you’ve been assigned. Since you came to SHIELD you’ve proven yourself on numerous occasions and have earned the respect of everyone you’ve worked with. You earned this.”

“Level 7.” Saying it aloud didn’t make it any more real. “You won’t be my handler anymore.”

“After New Mexico it became clear that the world will likely be changing very soon. Missions will require upper level operatives to oversee them and you and Romanov both will be at the top of my list.”

At the mention of New Mexico, Clint remembered how it felt to have Phil deep inside of him and he begging for more, clutching him and meeting him thrust for thrust. Clint had briefly squeezed his eyes shut to get back to the here and now.

“I recommended to Director Fury that you oversee security for the Tesseract project headed by Dr. Selvig. You will get to pick your own team and you will report directly to Fury.”

“I was in prison the first time we met. You believed in me then and I never wanted to let you down. I wanted to be worth the trust you put in me.”

“You always were, Clint,” Phil assured him.

“I owe everything to you, sir. I won’t let you down.”

Phil moved around his desk and stood in front of Clint. “You are a top agent at SHIELD, Clint. You wouldn’t have gotten here otherwise. Give yourself some credit.”

Clint nodded and smiled. “I will, sir.”

After a firm pat on the shoulder, Phil’s smile widened. That Clint knew was for him.

“Coulson, there’s a new place in Brooklyn that I’m told offers the best seafood paella on the seaboard. Want to check it out?”

Phil was already at his desk and sitting. “I have a meeting with Hill and Fury in a few hours.”

“Well, maybe when you’re done…” _Fuck_ , Clint thought. How pathetic did that sound? “Nat’s coming. I know she’d like it if you joined us.”

“Maybe another time.”

“Sure.” Clint took a few steps back and then stopped. “I take it I’ll be packing soon for the new facility.”

“If you have anyone specific in mind for your team let me know and I’ll make sure they’re on a plane. You have two days, Barton.”

“Yes, sir. Thanks again.”

Clint veiled his disappointment and left the office.

In the months since New Mexico, Clint hadn’t been able to get Phil Coulson to budge on a drink, dinner or anything outside of work. The closest they ever got was the occasional cup of coffee during moments when there was nothing else to do and those rarely lasted longer than it took for the hot liquid to cool.

The only reaction Clint got out of Coulson about their liaison was no reaction which only further confused him. He had dropped a few hints, but got nothing. Were it not for the small bite on the spot between his neck and shoulder that had scarred he would have thought the intense sex had been nothing more than a dream.

Maybe given more time Coulson would relent in his steadfast refusals. Clint debated on just asking point blank, but Phil was all business. Sexing it up with your handler wasn’t just frowned upon. It was against regulations. The last thing Clint wanted was for it to get around, lose respect from their peers and risk the standing that Coulson had worked so hard for. This was the reason why he had kept it to himself and not even said a word to Natasha.

That night he and Natasha went to a Spanish restaurant where ate seafood paella and celebrated with Sangria. By the time he got back to his quarters he was half drunk and feeling pathetically sorry for himself. Clint kicked off his shoes and wound up falling asleep on his bunk.

~*~

When Clint first started with SHIELD years ago, he was full of quips, backtalk, and pranks. His arrogance only existed because he knew how damn good he was. In his first few years, he wasn’t that well-liked by many despite his performance record.

That all changed once Phil Coulson became his handler after his probationary period. The man may have gotten him out of prison, but he had decidedly stepped back while Clint went through the paces of becoming a full time agent for SHIELD. With Coulson at his back, Clint learned trust and with that came respect for those around him.

Now Clint was a Level 7 agent. It was a prestige only awarded to the best and he wouldn’t be where he was if it weren’t for Phil Coulson. Overseeing security for Selvig and the Tesseract project made him a top level agent that few could ever aspire to. No way was he going to let Coulson down.

So, Clint handpicked his team out of the best of the lot. He worked them hard and himself harder. They grumbled and even he hated the demanding workload and schedule, but the stakes were too high to do anything less.

It was in the corridor that Clint ran into Phil. He hadn’t seen him in nearly a week.

“Sir, where have you been?”

“It’s Phil or Coulson now, Barton,” Phil told him. “You don’t work for me anymore.”

“Only if you keep it Clint. Barton makes me feel like a raw recruit.”

“You’re not that anymore.” Phil’s small grin was a proud one. “You want to join me for a drink in my quarters?”

“It’ll have to be non-alcoholic. I’m going on duty.”

“Of course.”

Clint was not going to allow himself to read anymore into the invite. They got to Phil’s quarters and once inside, Clint watched from the door while Phil got out two glasses. He watched him take a two-liter bottle of A&W root beer from the fridge.

“Root beer?” Clint arched an eyebrow.

“When I was a kid I’d go with my grandmother to the local A&W drive-in.” Phil twisted open the bottle and began pouring. “We’d order root beer and they’d serve it in frosty mugs with the logo on the side. There was something uniquely special about it. Root beer became a sort of comfort drink over the years.”

Clint took the glass of frothy root beer and grinned. “Sort of like your Captain America collection.”

“I guess.” Phil took a large drink and some of the froth was left on his upper lip. “Times were simpler then.”

In that moment, Clint realized just how deeply in love he was with Phil. He stepped forward and lifted his hand. As if time stood still, he rubbed his thumb just so lightly across Phil’s mouth. Given how still Phil had become, Clint had no doubts that the moment was just as moving for him as well.

“Clint...” Phil whispered.

“Shit,” Clint breathed. He stepped back. “I’m sorry.”

Phil set his glass down and moved closer. “Don’t be. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

The last thing Clint wanted was to be let down easy and this was one time he’d get his chance before Phil had his say.

“Shut up.” Clint put his glass on the table and pulled Phil in by his lapel.

He wrapped his arm around the back of Phil’s neck and angled his lips for better access. Once their mouths touched, Clint leaned into him even more feeling his body form to Phil’s. He eased his tongue into Phil’s mouth and was met with equal enthusiasm. This wasn’t like New Mexico at all. _Fuck, this is better!_

Clint was ready to yank at the knot of Phil’s tie not just because he want them both naked, but also because he was turned on by the idea of removing Phil’s suit piece by piece after New Mexico. He reached for Phil’s belt when suddenly Phil’s two-way radio beeped.

“Damn it,” Phil bit out before stepping back.

Clint nearly beamed. Phil wanted him although he was peeved at the interruption. He glanced at his watch and saw that he still had to get to Selvig. As Clint listened to Phil talking, he finished off his root beer.

“Fury is on his way and Selvig is reporting some activity with the Tesseract. We both have to get back to work.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“Clint, we’ll finish this. I promise.”

“I-.” _I love you_. “ I’m counting on it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint learns the truth about New Mexico.

It was definitely more than a spear. Clint quickly learned that the first time the alien fired at them. He got Fury out of the way and managed a head shot at the being. When he saw it ricochet off the head, he knew he needed far more than a gun to slow it down. Before Clint knew it, he had been thrown halfway across the room and by the time he got to his feet, the alien was standing before him and he couldn’t move.

“You have heart,” he said.

Clint was confused. Where did that come from?

He thought he was dead when the sharp edge of the spear was raised and aimed for his chest. Then suddenly he turned ice cold as if he’d been suddenly set in the Antarctic. Following that was warmth and then only the desire to do whatever was needed to accomplish the objective. It was clear. He was to facilitate the conquest of the Earth and he had no qualms about doing so.

Clint was given the task of fulfilling and overseeing Loki’s will. That meant gathering resources and assets. In all things Loki wanted, Clint made sure it happened. He planned tactics and strategies. He prepared for every eventuality thoroughly. That was what he had been trained to do since his days in the circus. His mind was honed for such things.

Loki’s will was so strong that the images of it permeated through Clint’s mind. While Selvig was able to sift and discard through information as a scientist would, Clint, on the other hand was overwhelmed with an enormous amount of imagery that he tried to make sense of.

It was then he realized the truth about New Mexico and it nearly broke the hold that Loki had on him. He lowered his head and rubbed his temple trying to assuage the fierce headache.

“Barton.”

He looked up at Loki and felt the power of the scepter taking hold once again. Clint followed him down the hallway to a private room he had prepared for Loki. The catacombs provided adequate cover for their operations, but conditions weren’t the best. Loki seemed to appreciate the Old World look.

Clint stood in the middle of the room while Loki removed his long overcoat.

“You have served me well, Barton. You will have a place once this world is brought to heel.”

If it was in Clint, he would have laughed. “Yes, sir.”

Loki turned. “You don’t believe it.”

“Sir, if we manage to take the planet you’ll spend the rest of your days fighting for it.”

“Perhaps you’re right, Barton.” Loki stepped in close. “Your tactical and strategic brilliance is unmatched. Your people show no appreciation for your abilities and your genius.”

Clint swallowed the lump in his throat. “Sir?”

“You may speak.”

“I remember, sir. New Mexico. That was you.” The shame of what happened rolled through Clint. What once was a moment of passion and love was now a dirty secret. He wanted to die.

Loki remained still. “It seems your mind is more accepting of my will than I anticipated.”

“Yes, sir.”

Clint saw Loki’s hand coming to caress his jawline and he screwed his eyes shut. The last thing he wanted was the demigod’s touch.

Loki seemed to sense it and lowered his arm.

“If I desired it, I could take you right now and you would offer no resistance.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But you would not wish it.”

“No, sir.”

“I am not a rapist,” Loki told him. He sighed and stepped back. “It appears your Phil Coulson has more of your loyalty than I ever will.”

Clint said nothing.

“Answer me,” Loki ordered.

“Yes, sir. He does.”

“Be that as it may, Barton, you will insure my plans come to fruition. Nothing is to stand in your way. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

Clint would do it not because of loyalty to Loki. It was his will and it was Clint’s job to make sure Loki got his way no matter the risk or the cost.

~*~

It was as if a large rock had been thrown in the middle of his brain like it was a lake. The ripples pushed away Loki’s will and the more time passed, the more it receded in the distant parts of his brain until the voice was in the far off distance. He had his own self-determination back and Clint would never give that ground up again even at the cost of his own life.

It felt damn good to be on the right side as he fought with the Avengers. They had taken out the Chitauri, brought down the leviathans and captured Loki. Not bad for a day’s work. Clint nearly smiled in relief.

It was Tony’s idea to get shawarma and no one argued with him. Everyone was physically and emotionally exhausted. Nothing sounded better than winding down at some hole in the wall place that the majority of New York City had never heard of. Rather than the enjoyable meal that was expected, it was time to decompress from the week of hell. No one spoke until they were standing outside.

“I don’t know about anyone else,” Steve said. “I’m ready for a beer and a shower.”

Clint snorted. “Yeah.”

He knew exactly who he was going to call for that. He took out his radio. “Barton to Coulson.”

Clint never saw the faces of the Avengers as he repeated the call.

“ _Is this some kind of joke_?” Marie Hill angrily answered over the radio.

“What?” Clint asked in return.

When he looked at Natasha, then he knew. The painful loss was in her eyes. “No.”

Clint’s eyes went to Tony, Bruce and the rest. The truth couldn’t be denied.

“It was Loki,” Natasha told him.

“On the carrier?” Clint asked.

“You had no way…” Bruce began, but stopped. He seemed to know that nothing was going to comfort Clint at this point.

That was the only confirmation Clint needed. He darted to an alley, dropped to his knees and threw up the contents of his stomach. He had one hand on the wall to steady him. When he finished he sat back and leaned against the brick. Everyone had followed him. His eyes locked on Natasha’s.

“Are you going to tell me it was monsters and magic again, Nat?” Clint’s eyes were tear-filled and hard. “Are you going to try to tell me how it’s not my fucking fault? None of it? You’d be wrong. All of you!” he yelled.

Bruce stepped forward. “No one blames you for Coulson.”

Clint pushed to his feet and kept his back on the wall. “Loki gave me his fucking will, but he didn’t plan tactics. That was me all the way. You know how close I came to taking the carrier down.” He looked at Bruce. “You think I didn’t know they’d bring you in, Doctor? Best way to bring out the fucking monster is for him to think his life is at risk.”

“That’s enough,” Steve told him. “You proved yourself long before now. We already knew, Barton. Why do you think you fought next to us?”

It felt like his heart had crumbled into a million pieces as he stepped towards Natasha. “Nat.”

She opened her arms and he walked into him. After Clint rested his head on her shoulder the team gathered around.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint risks everything for one man who means the world.

After so many years at SHIELD, you get damn good at debriefings. You learn to know how much to tell, what to hold back and when to just stop talking. Clint had definitely ascertained how to gage what they wanted from him and he made sure they got enough to be satisfied that he was clear of demigod control.

He still wasn’t satisfied himself, though. He had his own questions that had formulated in his mind since Loki’s will was forced on him. There was no doubt the demigod had more expertise in befuddling the attempts at debriefing him than anyone in the history of SHIELD.

It took some convincing, but Tony had talked Fury into letting them hold Loki at Stark Tower. As long as he wore the Asgardian cuffs, Loki’s magic was subdued which made him near mortal. He was held in an isolation cell that had its own separate power source. Tony could blow it up without an impact on the rest of the building.

Clint ordered the security detail to step away from the monitors. This was going to be a private conversation if he had anything to do with it. He had the know-how to disrupt communications during his visit and he implemented it before seeing Loki.

He stepped to the cell. Instead of bars, it was a clear state-of-the-art polymer that was practically indestructible. _Stark Industries has a killer R &D department_, Clint thought.

“Well, Agent Barton.” Loki’s grin as always seemed to grow sharper with every small pleasure. “After so many important visitors, you are the last one I expected to see.”

“We’re practically old friends,” Clint told him. “You shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Of course, I remember.”

“You’ve been in my fucking head since New Mexico.”

“I remember how you begged me for more.”

The look of pleasure on Loki’s face had Clint clenching his fists. “Enough about that.”

Loki’s hands were still bound by the cuffs and he kept them hanging downward. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Before you came through the portal, I saw a face. Who was it?” The way Loki had raised his chin, Clint knew he was onto something. “Well?”

“He is called ‘The Other’.”

“That’s who gave you the spear.”

Loki nodded. “You’ve retained more of the memories than I anticipated, Barton.”

“Too damn many of them,” Clint bit out. “Tell me about this Other. Who is he?”

“He is of no threat to Midgard.” Loki turned away and went to the bench to sit.

“There’s more you’re not telling. You’re holding back.”

“Barton, I am always holding back,” Loki replied salaciously.

“You’re thinking that I’ll offer you something in return for more information. Sorry, asshole. Not happening.”

Clint started for the door.

“I can bring Coulson back.”

He froze for a moment. Sudden hope exploded in his chest, then he remembered who was saying it. Clint turned.

“You must think I’m the world’s biggest fucking idiot.”

“If you know me at all, Barton, I do not make an offer I cannot follow through with.”

“You are also the god of fucking lies! Thor even said as much.”

Loki stood and stepped forward. The thick clear polymer shield was all that separated them. “I can offer you something that you desire more than anything in the Nine Realms. I give you Coulson and you can get me my freedom. Is that not a fair exchange, Barton?”

“Not unless you plan on making another go at Earth, Loki. It means nothing to me.”

“I give you my word that Midgard will remain untouched from this day onward. Keep in mind, Barton, I have lived for over a thousand years and I have given my word less than the fingers on my hand. Thor can attest to this as well.”

Indecision filled him and Clint struggled to believe him. He would do anything to get Coulson back, but the asking price was fucking high.

~*~

The best escape plans are usually the simple ones. One thing Clint learned in his years at the circus and at SHIELD, most usually wound up planning for even the most unforeseen thinking the straightforward was the least likely. Clint was about to turn that notion on its ear.

He hadn’t relished the idea of breaking Loki out of Stark Tower, but when Natasha informed him they would get to give the demigod a sendoff he couldn’t have been more pleased. It made for the planning all that much easier. Clint had two days to prep. What made it even better is that no one would see it coming.

It was a beautiful day in Central Park. The team approached the sendoff spot and gathered around as Thor readied them to leave.

Clint’s eyes went to Loki’s and just as he grinned, he slipped his hand in the pocket of his jacket. Their eyes met and Clint never even heard Nat’s whisper in his ear. The demigod got the message.

As soon as Clint dropped the SHIELD concussion grenade at Thor’s feet, he reached for Loki’s magic cuffs and jerked him away from the group. They barely kept to their feet as the brightness went off instantly blinding anyone who was facing towards it.

Clint and Loki didn’t have to run far. The archer had parked a convertible several yards away the day before and he shoved the demigod into it. Clint jumped in and sped down the road heading to a hiding spot. He reached over and unclasped the muzzle around Loki’s mouth.

Loki yanked it off. “Are you mad?”

“Can you hide us?”

“What?”

“Magic?” Clint yelled. “Thor will find us in nothing flat if you can’t hide us.”

Loki lifted his cuffed hands. “Once these are gone, I will regain my powers.”

“Thought as much.” Clint swerved the car and headed for the underpass of a bridge. He saw no one in the rearview mirror and then slammed on the brakes.

He reached under the seat and took out a cloth bag. Clint dumped small square runes into his hand. “I heisted these from the Natural History Museum last night. The legend says that saying a spell over them can make it happen. Think it’s true?”

“Possibly,” Loki told him. “If they’re authentic.”

“Shit,” Clint bit out. “Here goes nothing. Hope I don’t forget anything.”

_“Once the Idisi set forth, to this place and that; Some fastened fetters; some hindered the horde, Some loosed the bonds from the brave -- Leap forth from the fetters! Escape from the foes!”_

Clint and Loki waited with baited breath and then the cuffs opened before dropping off his wrists.

“Wow.”

“Yes,” Loki murmured. He looked at Clint with new eyes. “You are indeed gifted far more than you know, archer.”

“Hide us, now!” Clint ordered.

Loki touched the car and it became an old 1972 El Camino. To anyone who looked at the two, they were middle aged men. Clint turned his head as he watched Natasha and Steve rush past them.

He glanced at Loki. “Okay, so we’ll get Coulson’s body and then it’s your turn.”

“You think it’s as simple as that?” Loki asked.

“What more is there?”

“First off, shrouding from Thor for an extended length of time will require more magic that I am capable of at this time. I need to recoup my strength. Also, we will need assistance if we are to take your Coulson to Asgard.”

“Asgard?”

“How else is he to be brought back, Barton?”

“Okay, what do we need to get to Asgard?”

“It is a special piece of ornament that will not only keep my magic from being taken away. It will also get us to Asgard. What about Coulson’s body?”

“Let me worry about that. Where is this thing?”

“Kaupang.”

“Where the hell is that?”

Loki gave Clint a grin as he looked out of the corner of his eye. “Norway.”

“Fuck!”

Clint started the car and headed for the safe house.


End file.
